Starting this blog has taken up a massive amount of my time. Maybe cause I am so slow at computer stuff and I have had to learn how to maneuver through it. All I have ever done on computers is type letters, essays, and reports for school, play games, and get online. I have also made business flyers and business cards. Don’t laugh at me, I know this is funny to someone who is a computer whiz :). But really for me computers are basically something else I have to dust. In high school in the mid 80’s computers were just, and I mean just, coming on the scene, and well I was not interested. And then there’s that whole getting married at age 16 thing, and all the sudden I had more important things to do. My life for the last 25 years has been totally for the other people around me, and I have given them all that I
had: my time, energy, efforts, talents, even my soul prayed and wanted the best for them and the best I could give. How many hours have I sat in the school room with the kids, how many hours were spent driving to piano lessons, the library, to home school meetings? How many meals have I cooked, how much time was in planning those meals? How many loads of laundry have I
gathered, washed, dried, many put on a clothes line, folded and put away? Shopping: grocery, school, clothes, Christmas, birthdays? There is time in Sunday school teaching, Vacation Church School teaching, women’s department director, and the girls youth classes. How many gallons of food have I processed for the winter months? How much time did I spend thinking and worring about them and how I was doing as a parent? Please don’t think I am boasting, I just realized what the last 25 years have consisted of!! I made a lot of mistakes too, but more importantly I learned from them. And in the last 10 years I have taken some time for myself and attended 2 colleges in the study of natural health and herbal healing.
When my youngest son graduated from highschool this spring, I realized the massive weight I was carrying for all those years. I realized it because all of the sudden it was not there. I could breathe a little deeper, walk a little lighter, my peace was a little sweeter, and I could actually think about what I would like to do with my time. I don’t mean to say that the sacrifice I made was not worth it, it was, and I would do it all again. I was trying to think of a word to use such as toilsome, flustering, taxing, wearisome, or tiresome, all those are what I would use to describe being a stay-at-home mom who homeschools. However there is also elation, joy, excitement, wonder, amusement, and down right fun. All in all it is work. Hard work. But as with any job a person does, when it is over you see the results of the work offered over all those years. My 4 children are a joy to me, and I am happy with who they have become.
And so here I am, with no lessons to prepare, no tests to grade, no book reports to read, no subjects to teach, no piano practice to see to, no library books to hunt and find. And it feels good. Great!! I have time to spend learning what I want, read what I want, and share with others what I have learned.
Having children is truly a labor of love. Having 5 children in six years is laborious. Parenting is laborious, but the payoff is bittersweet. Life is what you make it, and now I have more time to make it what I want. I still have domestic chores and responsibilities that I like doing, but I sure have more free time at my disposal. I choose to use it to the fullest!
Now where was that novel I wanted to read about a year ago?
Talk to ya later, a cozy corner is calling my name,
Love life & breathe deep,